Tired of Asking Why.

I have never seen my sister so happy. She has talked about this one guy for a loooong time, but
for some reason, they never got together. He left for New York to do his culinary thing. Then, his dad died... he says he realized how important some things were, and his priorities changed, and he moved home, to Virginia, to stay with his mom, who is extremely ill. Kelly and Josh became official. I haven't seen her face have so many smiles. I haven't seen her so joyful and energetic and so.... happy. He mailed my mother a thank you note after she had them over for dinner. He gave me a lot of his stuff from culinary school. Just gave it to me. He makes my sister nice dinners, no matter what time of night. He is probably one of the smartest, most fun, KINDEST people I've ever met, and I'm so glad that he is a part of Kelly's life... and mine, and my families. Two weeks ago, a few days after Kelly's birthday, the three of us went out to meet his brother and hang out for the night. We all had drinks together, played some darts, joked....

Today, my sister called me to tell me that his brother is dead. Josh got the call at work that his brother was found dead in his bathroom.

Why is this fair? Why does God do this to people?? To the kindest people. Why is it okay for him to lose everyone he loves? His brother was, like, not over 30 or so. Josh sure doesn't deserve to have the last person he had left to be wrenched from his life so soon. And so soon after his dad died... I'm just. I'm just gutted for him. Tears are pouring down my face because I feel so so bad for someone that deserves to have the happiest life. Of course, my family will embrace him as if he is our own brother, son, etc. He has treated us like one of his very own, and even if he hadn't we would surround him with love and try to lift him up when he's down. But it still doesn't take away the fact that it's just not fair. It doesn't ever replace the people he has lost. He doesn't deserve this.

It makes me feel like the things I complain about, the things I've been through, they are nothing. I would rather not have a house to live in than lose my mother, or my father, or my sister. Of course, it will happen eventually, but I hope never before their time. I don't know what to do to help. All I can say is that generic line "I'm here for you if you need anything". I feel so helpless and sad. I can't imagine how his heart must be broken. I can't take the pain away. I can't do anything at all. Except wonder why. Why, why why why why.

Please keep my sister's boyfriend in your thoughts and prayers.... Please send him thoughts of good wishes, and good karma, and love and strength.

Because I would crumble if I were him. I would crumble to pieces and never put myself back together again.