I'm not the type of person that keeps their mouth shut. I generally say what I want to say.... I'm not saying this is a great quality, but it's me. I've spent a lot of years in my life being shut down and quieted, and I guess I just feel the need to make up for it by always making my opinions known. I find that I am always putting my foot in my mouth.
I'm overly sensitive. My feelings get hurt easily. I get frustrated easily. I'm impatient. I'm honest. WAY WAY WAY too honest.
Sometimes I feel really lonely. Sometimes I feel like no one will ever understand who I am and what I'm about. I can't make people care, and I'm not even sure they want to. A lot of times I feel like most people are just humoring me. Just being polite.
I'm paranoid. I'm paranoid that people are just pretending to like me. I'm paranoid that things get said about me that are inaccurate.
I feel like I can't trust people.
I'm starting to feel like it's me.
I don't what I'm typing or why.
Not dead
17 years ago
4 comments:
I like you! And I feel lonely a lot too. Life would be so much better if we could all actually hang out together.
And for the record...I wish I could be more open with people about my feelings and opinions. I think it's awesome that you are. Although after all the BS I'm going through now, maybe that's starting to change.
*loves*
Erica!! I could have totally written this whole post. Well, except for the part about always making my opinions known. I tend to keep my mouth shut, because I want people to like me. I don't like to rock the boat. I only tend to be totally honest once I feel "safe" with someone. Not that I lie otherwise, I just tend to censor what I share.
And just so you know. I like you lots, and I'm not pretending. :)
Erica <3
remember when I gave up on the alternative chat room and went to sit in chatzy? You stayed in there to keep me company, then when I said you didn't have to you told me that you liked talking to me.
Remember how shocked I was?
So yes I understand paranoia, and thinking that people talk to me just because I'm there etc.
By the way...that meant a lot, I was shocked to see it but it meant a lot.
<3
I also feel lonely, I also feel like I can't trust anyone and as for other people caring? about me? I often find myself thinking that it would be nice if they did.....but why the hell should they? I mean who am I to other people and how does the way I feel affect them in any way?
As for you, I don't think people are just being polite. I think that there are a hell of a lot of people who genuinely like you, and do care. I'm certainly one of those people.
I like people who speak their mind because I always know where I stand..... if I piss you off for whatever reason, I know you will tell me. I value that a lot in a person. The world needs more people like you.
<3
Thank you all for the kind comments. I didn't mean to fish for compliments, LOL. You are all very very dear to me! Lots and lots of love!
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